The More Things Change...

For the first time since my mom was six Christmas morning will not be at the house she grew up in. It will not be at the house where my Baba died, where we spent time as a big family. The house hasn't left our family as my older cousin and her husband bought it. But the most important part of our Christmas, waffles, ice cream and berries will still be around but in a different place. And it is not the same.

My Grandpa's old house is huge. An addition was built on to it so that eight people could comfortably live there. My mom has stories of her holding up heavy boards on a ladder as a teenager. But it is in capable hands now with my cousin. Christmas Eve dinner is too, though our Grandpa is going over to help. But breakfast has changed and that feels weird.

Christmas morning is when we exchange gifts but much more importantly we are all together. WE rarely ever are all together anymore with one aunt in Singapore, an aunt and uncle in Australia, and and aunt, uncle, and cousins in Vermont. But every once in a while we would all come together in the big family room at my Grandpa's on Christmas morning and laugh. Sure, we would open presents but we would also laugh.

There is a joke in our family that when all the Chaboyer women get together and laugh, it is a wall of laughter that you cannot escape even if you try. When my sister and I were young we would be kept awake by this laughter. It will never go away, but things change and it will not be in the same place again.

The kitchen was perfect for big meals. It was a kitchen that people would want to put an island in now. My Grandpa had this big table, way too big for one person but excellent for family gatherings. Christmas morning we would all sit around and eat waffles as my mom cooked. My parents even got my Grandpa a new waffle iron to speed up the cooking process. Everyone fit around the table and would have a good time together. We won't all fit anymore, the kitchen is too small for the table to be as big as it once was. The living room at his apartment will mean that we will have to squish to all fit. But we will be together and we will have a good time. 

It will not be the same. As much as I wish it would have never changed, everything changes. But the people who make it Christmas will be there. The food that makes it special will still be there. The quiet moments where my Grandpa struggles with the time of year when he lost his wife will still be there. But the setting won't be and that means that times are changing and that is hard to accept when the changes mean you are getting older and soon nothing will be the same.