Christmas Cookies and the Ties that Bind

I see my mom's family frequently. My Grandfather comes over every Sunday and I see my family that lives in Winnipeg on a semi-regular basis. This is not true for my dad's family. I have one grandparent left (my grandpa) and it has been this way for four years since I was 16. I remember lamenting the fact to my dad's cousin because it was too unbelievable then and it still is today.

But somethings can never die and should never die, no matter who does die. Family traditions. And my Grandma (and Grandpa before he died when I was 3) had a great one. Baking and decorating Christmas Cookies. It was the only time of the year that all the grandkids were guaranteed to be together. Boyfriends and girlfriends came and went but the same four people were always there and it seemed as though that would be lost.

It couldn't have been lost though. When else could we eat gobs of sugar cookie and put too much icing on cookies as we entered adulthood? No where. We needed cookies to keep us together and allow us to share our lives which are spread out and busy. I decided to organize them because we had the space and I (in grade 11) had the time. We did them after Christmas because my cousin had moved to Halifax, just gotten married and was really busy. Never mind that school had everyone else busy as well. That was a memorable one because my cousin told us she was pregnant with her and her husbands first daughter. The next year my parents and aunt became the babysitters while they decorated cookies.

The last two years have made is so my cousin's daughter has been the life of the party without knowing it. My dad and aunt seem to go back to their childhood entertaining her. Last year her socks ended up on my dad's ears. My parents were never allowed to stay at my grandma's, they usually went to Polo Park while we baked because they weren't allowed to stay. It was are time as cousins and no one could take that away from us. But times change and this year there will be two little ones at cookies. My cousin had a second girl this spring (also first told to us at Christmas Cookies) meaning more babysitting for the "adults".

Christmas Cookies is an exclusive group, allowing those who enter intimate access into our lives and our special place. Egg salad must be made and served. The "kids" have to come to make cookies. Phone calls aren't used anymore though, Facebook is. We don't arrive in the same order as we used to. I organize it, not Grandma. We have a better kitchen for the cookies now, one with an island perfect for rolling out cookie dough. But it's not the same, it will never be the same without a grandparent to be there for you. The small, musky old house has been replaced by a big, newer house that smells of anything but musk. Times change. What started when we were the same age as our cousins oldest (2) has continued to now. We are all adults. We range in age from 20-31. And the only thing guaranteed to bring us together every year is Christmas cookies. Christmas doesn't work anymore, there are too many other commitments to add another one. Our Christmas dinner is our cookie making because we all have out own lives now. That's okay because for one day a year we will get together at a house and make something better than cookies: memories.