I once was broken, but now that I have carefully rebuilt my shattered confidence I am only frail. I was destroyed methodically in grade school. The world was unkind to me; taunting me about being...average. I left a classroom crying in grade 7. You know how bad it is to cry in school in grade 7? It's the worst. I was broken.
I changed schools after grade 8. I never told anyone what happened to me. How no one told my mom even off handily is shocking. I didn't make eye contact with anyone. Speaking up was hard. I was broken and I had to rebuild myself. I had lost the little girl who wanted to play football when she grew up and wore dresses all the time.
It was a hard, slow process that began with small steps. I joined the social justice group at school. I was in drama (a strategic move to make me talk to people). I stayed for lunch. I was still broken at first. I started making friends. Friendly kids would talk to me, welcome me into their world. Their world was one of friendships since kindergarten and memories. My world with them began in grade 9.
Slowly I re-found myself; still frail, but no longer broken. Carefully I made sure to not break myself and to build myself up. I learned I can give a speech with little planning. I talked to politicians and community leaders. I wore dresses again. I became healed, but my confidence remained frail.
I remember when I was confronted with a simple problem and I solved it without help (or tears) for the first time. That was this year. I am 21. It took me 7 years and much patience and tough love from my mom to get here. I did this though and because I know how delicate the balance is for me, I protect myself a lot. I don't expose myself to situations that could even dent my newfound, delicate sense of confidence I have developed. I have limited myself about what I will comment about on social media because I am afraid of taking a step back in my rebuilding.
When you make it this far after the bullies have won, you protect yourself, you make sure you will not be exposed as something that the bullies would have jumped on. Sometimes I want to say things about something but cannot because I am afraid about people jumping down my throat, telling me I'm wrong and making me feel like I did when I was bullied. I cannot deal with that. I cannot rebuild myself again with how far I've come. I stick to some social justice stuff that I have some knowledge of (Winnipeg's homeless and FNMI issues), sports, and history as a whole. I am safe with these. I can learn about these. I do not feel like anyone will make me feel bullied if I talk about these.
I like helping others, but I have to continue to help myself first.
Monday, 25 August 2014
Friday, 15 August 2014
Head Down, No Eye Contact
It wasn't always this way. Actually, I used to talk so much you couldn't shut me up. And then grade 2 happened and I had to learn how to deal with a bully. I was easy to pick on because I wasn't from the area and I was smart. I almost refuse to see the bad in people. This is an issue you see, because you can be preyed on in school when you befriend the kids that no one else wants to befriend and try to be kind to everyone. You because a target for bullying. You become a victim trying to help other kids that needed friends. And you lose confidence.
I figured out how to cope. Keep your head down, don't respond and never make eye contact. Ever. Try to become invisible. Try to disappear. You never will, but you can try. You can tell the teachers, but they are powerless unless administration backs them. So you stay quiet in the halls and outside and hope that no one comes near you and does anything to you.
The name calling and the antics that everyone else laughs at and says are no big deal never stop and it starts to break you down. You leave that school for a new high school where you know no one. You make friends. They have friends already and you feel like a bit of an outsider, but you are safer and you can find people that have the same ideals as you. You are safe.
Then you leave. You have to leave and you choose to go downtown. The school is smaller; safer. You are in the program you want to be in, you are learning lots. And then you walk. You walk to the library downtown. It's big and it's quiet and there is free WiFi. You walk 5 or 6 blocks and people ask you for money. You don't have small change, so you walk. You pull your toque down lower you bow your head. You become invisible again. You use your talent to protect yourself and this time it works.
So you walk more and whenever you walk you see the same man. You sometimes buy him water or coffee. He sits there everyday, asking for anything. You remember what you were taught; people just want a drink and some food. They are people. You give him that sometimes. He never asks you, he never expects anything of you. But he's there everyday and it can be hot sometimes and he must be dehydrated, so you give him some cold water.
There are questions you want to ask. You want to ask them on different forums; ask different people. There seems to be no room for discussion though. No room for learning, for collaboration. So you don't ask, you don't learn because you're afraid. You're afraid that people will not hear you again; that you will be invisible. You just don't understand everything and you want to learn, but having a discussion seems impossible because the world is coloured in shades of grey and yet sometimes it seems to only be seen in black and white.
And once again you put your head down, your earbuds in, pull your toque lower and walk faster because there is no way to understand something with no discussion, no way for a young person to understand, so you instead try to hid, try to turn invisible. It has done you well in life so far.
I figured out how to cope. Keep your head down, don't respond and never make eye contact. Ever. Try to become invisible. Try to disappear. You never will, but you can try. You can tell the teachers, but they are powerless unless administration backs them. So you stay quiet in the halls and outside and hope that no one comes near you and does anything to you.
The name calling and the antics that everyone else laughs at and says are no big deal never stop and it starts to break you down. You leave that school for a new high school where you know no one. You make friends. They have friends already and you feel like a bit of an outsider, but you are safer and you can find people that have the same ideals as you. You are safe.
Then you leave. You have to leave and you choose to go downtown. The school is smaller; safer. You are in the program you want to be in, you are learning lots. And then you walk. You walk to the library downtown. It's big and it's quiet and there is free WiFi. You walk 5 or 6 blocks and people ask you for money. You don't have small change, so you walk. You pull your toque down lower you bow your head. You become invisible again. You use your talent to protect yourself and this time it works.
So you walk more and whenever you walk you see the same man. You sometimes buy him water or coffee. He sits there everyday, asking for anything. You remember what you were taught; people just want a drink and some food. They are people. You give him that sometimes. He never asks you, he never expects anything of you. But he's there everyday and it can be hot sometimes and he must be dehydrated, so you give him some cold water.
There are questions you want to ask. You want to ask them on different forums; ask different people. There seems to be no room for discussion though. No room for learning, for collaboration. So you don't ask, you don't learn because you're afraid. You're afraid that people will not hear you again; that you will be invisible. You just don't understand everything and you want to learn, but having a discussion seems impossible because the world is coloured in shades of grey and yet sometimes it seems to only be seen in black and white.
And once again you put your head down, your earbuds in, pull your toque lower and walk faster because there is no way to understand something with no discussion, no way for a young person to understand, so you instead try to hid, try to turn invisible. It has done you well in life so far.
Tuesday, 3 June 2014
Volunteers Needed
I got this email today.
Hello everyone,
For those of you interested in volunteering this summer we are running a 3 week science camp for inner city youth at the University of Winnipeg. This year, 15 different schools involved in a community wide program called CSI will each come to the U of W for one day to participate in fun hands-on science based activities. The camp runs from July 14th to August 1st, 2014 between the hours of 9:30am and 2:30pm. We will have about 60 to 80 kids a day between the ages of 4 and 12 so we are looking for LOTS of volunteers. As the largest program of LTS U of W, this is a major volunteer commitment but we appreciate anyone who can help out for 1 or 2 days or the full 3 weeks.
A CSI Camp information session will be held in the basement of Wesley Hall (0W01) on Monday, June 16th, 2014 at 12:00pm. If you or anyone you know would be interested in helping out please come to this meeting (feel free to spread the word, pass along this email and/or bring a friend or two with you).
Try to make it to this important information session!!!
However if you can not attend this meeting but are still interested in volunteering, email us back at ltsuofw.csicamp@gmail.com to let us know.
We hope to see you soon,
Hannah Eisenstat, CSI Camp Coordinator
Amarpreet Rehal and Kyle Strong, CSI Camp Assistant Coordinators
Ps. We would love to hear any ideas you might have about science activities, quick demonstrations or you-tube clips for the camp with respect to our 3 themed rooms: Biology, Chemistry and Physics. For bonus points, try to think of a science name for yourself to put on your name tag such as Hyperspace Hannah, Adiabatic Barb or Atomic Amarpreet.
Hello everyone,
For those of you interested in volunteering this summer we are running a 3 week science camp for inner city youth at the University of Winnipeg. This year, 15 different schools involved in a community wide program called CSI will each come to the U of W for one day to participate in fun hands-on science based activities. The camp runs from July 14th to August 1st, 2014 between the hours of 9:30am and 2:30pm. We will have about 60 to 80 kids a day between the ages of 4 and 12 so we are looking for LOTS of volunteers. As the largest program of LTS U of W, this is a major volunteer commitment but we appreciate anyone who can help out for 1 or 2 days or the full 3 weeks.
A CSI Camp information session will be held in the basement of Wesley Hall (0W01) on Monday, June 16th, 2014 at 12:00pm. If you or anyone you know would be interested in helping out please come to this meeting (feel free to spread the word, pass along this email and/or bring a friend or two with you).
Try to make it to this important information session!!!
However if you can not attend this meeting but are still interested in volunteering, email us back at ltsuofw.csicamp@gmail.com to let us know.
We hope to see you soon,
Hannah Eisenstat, CSI Camp Coordinator
Amarpreet Rehal and Kyle Strong, CSI Camp Assistant Coordinators
Ps. We would love to hear any ideas you might have about science activities, quick demonstrations or you-tube clips for the camp with respect to our 3 themed rooms: Biology, Chemistry and Physics. For bonus points, try to think of a science name for yourself to put on your name tag such as Hyperspace Hannah, Adiabatic Barb or Atomic Amarpreet.
Saturday, 17 May 2014
The UWSA and "Doing Right" by Kids
Compensatory Education:
Compensatory education a system employed by some districts when there is a group of students falling below the baseline standard set for all students. This can happen in many different forms including, but not exclusive to after school and summer programming developed to help lift students up to the prescribed standard. There is a greater need for compensatory education for families who are of lower socio-economic status. Compensatory programs can include trips to the zoo or museum, activities that students may not otherwise get to experience.
What's the Problem?
The University of Winnipeg used to run one such program called Eco-Kids on campus, a school year program. Eco-Kids was a science based program that was funded in part by Enbridge Inc, an oil and gas company. Then the student decided that it wasn't good enough to be providing students with an opportunity to expand their learning and benefit from compensatory education and that the funding had to be from an ethical business. I will concede that ethical funding is ideal, it should not be the end game. There is less funding available in general and when you have some for a program, it should not be let go of because of questionable ethics.
Furthermore, there are U of W students (some who are associated with the UWSA, other independent of them), who felt as though they should a) be responsible for upholding the university to high standards for funding of a program that they simply house. And b) felt like they were right to rob students of help in their education because they were attending a program that was funded by Enbridge.
End Game
Let's face it, Enbridge is a company with a terrible track record, but their small donation to Eco-Kids on Campus may have opened up doors to kids that those students never knew existed. Those doors may know be closed forever. It is easy to go to your university and demand that they choose to accept funding from ethical companies only, but that isn't fair to the students who benefit from those programs. These are student who may be living in poverty or not have much help at home because of the hand that they have been dealt in life. I am lucky as I have always had ample opportunity provided by my parents and continue to be supported by them to this day. There are many people without these benefits and that can lead to a life that is based in the cycle of poverty. The U of W found a way to help give students the opportunity of leave that life and because some of their own students decided that the goal of helping others succeed in school wasn't a great enough goal, these students may be lost forever.
Life is hard on these kids. Some have parents who are illiterate, some live in run down housing and don't have enough to eat. There is hope in programs like Eco-Kids on Campus and a few other ones across Winnipeg, but there aren't enough spots to accommodate all the kids who would benefit from the programming, leaving some out of luck. The loss of this programming is tough for many reasons. It is terrible for the schools and students who rely on the programming to help them achieve success; it is terrible for the workers who rely on the jobs to make ends meet, and it is terrible for the teachers who have to fill in the gaps that students have every year.
I am privileged and to be honest, there are many people who are privileged to attend university. There are some who choose to use this privilege to advocate for free post-secondary education, which is fair. But there is something disingenuous about advocating free post-secondary education and not realizing that even if the education is free it will not be accessible to those who are entering school with learning gaps and then having the programs that help bridge those gaps yanked out from under them because the funding isn't ethical.
Conclusion
The University of Winnipeg has tried to make school more accessible to people who otherwise would not be able to afford to attended university. They have attempted to help fill the gaps that exist in education in the inner city and the suburbs. They have tried and they have turned to other sources of funding to make some of this happen. The end should justify the means as I am not one who should speak on behalf of an oppressed group who is accepting these means in the name of hope.
Some students disagree and wrote about it because they felt like unethical funding was an unacceptable way to help fill a gap in the education system. I was good with one of the writers of the letter. She, like me, grew up in a nice neighbourhood where there is plenty of wealth. Like me, she never experienced hunger or a lack of support from school or home. She was provided with access to education and educational opportunities at a much higher rate than some of these students. What right do we have as citizens of this world to take away opportunities because the funding isn't ethical. Finding a different company to fund the program is a noble idea, but to ask that the program end because of where the money is coming from makes you seem like an over-priviliged person who doesn't understand that the end sometimes does justify the means.
Compensatory education a system employed by some districts when there is a group of students falling below the baseline standard set for all students. This can happen in many different forms including, but not exclusive to after school and summer programming developed to help lift students up to the prescribed standard. There is a greater need for compensatory education for families who are of lower socio-economic status. Compensatory programs can include trips to the zoo or museum, activities that students may not otherwise get to experience.
What's the Problem?
The University of Winnipeg used to run one such program called Eco-Kids on campus, a school year program. Eco-Kids was a science based program that was funded in part by Enbridge Inc, an oil and gas company. Then the student decided that it wasn't good enough to be providing students with an opportunity to expand their learning and benefit from compensatory education and that the funding had to be from an ethical business. I will concede that ethical funding is ideal, it should not be the end game. There is less funding available in general and when you have some for a program, it should not be let go of because of questionable ethics.
Furthermore, there are U of W students (some who are associated with the UWSA, other independent of them), who felt as though they should a) be responsible for upholding the university to high standards for funding of a program that they simply house. And b) felt like they were right to rob students of help in their education because they were attending a program that was funded by Enbridge.
End Game
Let's face it, Enbridge is a company with a terrible track record, but their small donation to Eco-Kids on Campus may have opened up doors to kids that those students never knew existed. Those doors may know be closed forever. It is easy to go to your university and demand that they choose to accept funding from ethical companies only, but that isn't fair to the students who benefit from those programs. These are student who may be living in poverty or not have much help at home because of the hand that they have been dealt in life. I am lucky as I have always had ample opportunity provided by my parents and continue to be supported by them to this day. There are many people without these benefits and that can lead to a life that is based in the cycle of poverty. The U of W found a way to help give students the opportunity of leave that life and because some of their own students decided that the goal of helping others succeed in school wasn't a great enough goal, these students may be lost forever.
Life is hard on these kids. Some have parents who are illiterate, some live in run down housing and don't have enough to eat. There is hope in programs like Eco-Kids on Campus and a few other ones across Winnipeg, but there aren't enough spots to accommodate all the kids who would benefit from the programming, leaving some out of luck. The loss of this programming is tough for many reasons. It is terrible for the schools and students who rely on the programming to help them achieve success; it is terrible for the workers who rely on the jobs to make ends meet, and it is terrible for the teachers who have to fill in the gaps that students have every year.
I am privileged and to be honest, there are many people who are privileged to attend university. There are some who choose to use this privilege to advocate for free post-secondary education, which is fair. But there is something disingenuous about advocating free post-secondary education and not realizing that even if the education is free it will not be accessible to those who are entering school with learning gaps and then having the programs that help bridge those gaps yanked out from under them because the funding isn't ethical.
Conclusion
The University of Winnipeg has tried to make school more accessible to people who otherwise would not be able to afford to attended university. They have attempted to help fill the gaps that exist in education in the inner city and the suburbs. They have tried and they have turned to other sources of funding to make some of this happen. The end should justify the means as I am not one who should speak on behalf of an oppressed group who is accepting these means in the name of hope.
Some students disagree and wrote about it because they felt like unethical funding was an unacceptable way to help fill a gap in the education system. I was good with one of the writers of the letter. She, like me, grew up in a nice neighbourhood where there is plenty of wealth. Like me, she never experienced hunger or a lack of support from school or home. She was provided with access to education and educational opportunities at a much higher rate than some of these students. What right do we have as citizens of this world to take away opportunities because the funding isn't ethical. Finding a different company to fund the program is a noble idea, but to ask that the program end because of where the money is coming from makes you seem like an over-priviliged person who doesn't understand that the end sometimes does justify the means.
Friday, 2 May 2014
The Silence is Deafening
Last night the Montreal Canadiens played the Boston Bruins. PK Subban scored the overtime winner. Following his goal Twitter exploded with racist tweets about him. Today Cam Neely stated that those people do not represent the feelings of the Boston Bruins organization. He is right, they don't. The Boston Bruins were the first team to break the colour barrier in hockey with Willie O'Ree, and has had many black players in their organization throughout the years, including Subban's younger brother Malcolm who plays for their AHL team. And yet there is one massive voice missing, one voice that means more than one organization and addresses more than one incident; the NHL.
The NHL has a program called "Hockey is for Everyone". They say that the game is diverse and growing in diversity and maybe it is, but their inaction as racial comments fly about on the internet speaks louder than any program they run. "It isn't our problem" the NHL seems to say. "Nothing to see here". But it is their problem and there is something to see here.
Black athletes are a minority in the NHL. Unlike the NBA they have a very small voice even if they band together with their voices because there are not many black NHL players. They need the majority to stand up for them because they do not have enough power to stand up to everything themselves. They need their teammates and opponents to speak up (and they have when asked about it), but they also need their league to stand up for them. Racism is not a Boston problem, a Montreal problem, a London Ont. problem, or a Pittsburgh problem; it is a human problem and it needs to be addressed on a larger scale. The NHL should be responsible for eradicating racism from the NHL, not any one team.
The burden of responsibility here should fall on the NHL. The NHL has done nothing. They have sat by idly as player after player has been criticized racially for doing their job. The responsibility falls onto them now to show that they care about a player who is being berated for being born a certain way. Thanks to their partnership with You Can Play the NHL has a way to deal with homophobia and they deal with it swiftly. Yet they have no way to respond to racism. The NHL responded to Sean Avery making unsavoury remarks about an ex-girlfriend and yet they do nothing as a player is attacked over social media for the colour of his skin. When Krys Barch was suspended for asking Subban if he "slipped on a banana peel", there was no sensitivity training and no counselling, there was a two game suspension and that was it. Sean Avery had to go to counselling and enter the NHL's behaviour program for his comments. He also got suspended for 8 games. Barch got one game.
They say actions speak louder than words. The NHL's lack of action in regards to the repeated racist behaviour of their fans and their players should speak loudest of all.
The NHL has a program called "Hockey is for Everyone". They say that the game is diverse and growing in diversity and maybe it is, but their inaction as racial comments fly about on the internet speaks louder than any program they run. "It isn't our problem" the NHL seems to say. "Nothing to see here". But it is their problem and there is something to see here.
Black athletes are a minority in the NHL. Unlike the NBA they have a very small voice even if they band together with their voices because there are not many black NHL players. They need the majority to stand up for them because they do not have enough power to stand up to everything themselves. They need their teammates and opponents to speak up (and they have when asked about it), but they also need their league to stand up for them. Racism is not a Boston problem, a Montreal problem, a London Ont. problem, or a Pittsburgh problem; it is a human problem and it needs to be addressed on a larger scale. The NHL should be responsible for eradicating racism from the NHL, not any one team.
The burden of responsibility here should fall on the NHL. The NHL has done nothing. They have sat by idly as player after player has been criticized racially for doing their job. The responsibility falls onto them now to show that they care about a player who is being berated for being born a certain way. Thanks to their partnership with You Can Play the NHL has a way to deal with homophobia and they deal with it swiftly. Yet they have no way to respond to racism. The NHL responded to Sean Avery making unsavoury remarks about an ex-girlfriend and yet they do nothing as a player is attacked over social media for the colour of his skin. When Krys Barch was suspended for asking Subban if he "slipped on a banana peel", there was no sensitivity training and no counselling, there was a two game suspension and that was it. Sean Avery had to go to counselling and enter the NHL's behaviour program for his comments. He also got suspended for 8 games. Barch got one game.
They say actions speak louder than words. The NHL's lack of action in regards to the repeated racist behaviour of their fans and their players should speak loudest of all.
Friday, 25 April 2014
The Greatest Lesson
Outdoor ed. class was a great class. For once knowledge about different activities was invaluable; it was also the class where mountain biking was taught as well as First Aid and CPR. We snowshoed and cross country skied. But most of all we learned to work as a group. All 25 of us became responsible for one and other and became closer as a groups because of it.
I was always a bit of an outsider in high school. Although I had lived in the area since I was little, I had gone to an out of area school and entered high school with little social footing. My shyness made me have a very small social group and my seriousness led me to prefer the quiet solitude of being alone. But outdoor ed. forced me to talk more, to share more.
The last "big" activity we did was a backpacking trip. We practiced hiking with our bags, learned how to hang them from trees, and set up groups for sleeping and food. Throughout the three day trip, we kept journals. The journals were little $1 notebooks from the dollar store that are small enough that it took up no space in our bags. The daily journalling was nice, keeping the memories from that cold, wet, and fun trip alive, but it was the the lesson after that may have been the best lesson in high school.
_________________________________________________________________________________
We were in the library going over the trip, talking about memories and whatnot when our teacher, Mr. Froemel, instructed us put our name on the board, sit at our own table and fill out every name in our book on one page. He did the same with his notebook. We then went from table to table, filling out what we learned about each classmate, what qualities we admired and why we enjoyed being in class with them. 26 pages in those notebooks became dedicated to what made you great, fantastic, and wonderful.
The words on those pages can never change and never be misconstructed because they were not said face to face, they were not said in a way that body language could be read and someone could be embarrassed having to speak in front of the class. It was personal and sincere; the connection that was formed by that group in our last semester of high school was there, the memories were sustaining.
I will never see many of those kids again. I have moved on into university where I study history (major), Engligh (minor), and education (special program). I quietly go about my business their, working within my comfortable solitude. There is comfort there, but there is the lack of connection too. Lack of people building you up, allowing you to learn how to take a compliment.
Maybe the greatest lesson I learned in grade 12 was that we can all say nice things to each other, but the struggle is being away from our comfort zones to compliment people. The longer lasting, greater impact can come from having people write down what makes you great, so when are feeling down or overly stressed by that one assignment you can read about what is great about you.
_________________________________________________________________________________
By some small miracle I made it through school in one piece. I was bullied badly in elementary school; emotionally scarred in high school, but yet I made it through in one piece thanks in large part to my family. I struggled through the burden of making friends, desperately trying to balance my love of being an individual with the expectations of being "normal". I still haven't mastered that one yet, but I stopped caring. I learned that people truly did enjoy being around me because of who I was.
It took until the end of grade 12. It took a 7 foot tall teacher who loved everything, including the freezing cold. It took a group of kids who went to school together since kindergarten. It took three days in the woods. It took a lot, but I learned that when you take away the fear of being laughed at or judged, people can be genuinely nice to you if they know you, it just takes a lot more bravery to say it to someone face to face than it does to write it on paper…and that can't be read when you need to read it the most.
I was always a bit of an outsider in high school. Although I had lived in the area since I was little, I had gone to an out of area school and entered high school with little social footing. My shyness made me have a very small social group and my seriousness led me to prefer the quiet solitude of being alone. But outdoor ed. forced me to talk more, to share more.
The last "big" activity we did was a backpacking trip. We practiced hiking with our bags, learned how to hang them from trees, and set up groups for sleeping and food. Throughout the three day trip, we kept journals. The journals were little $1 notebooks from the dollar store that are small enough that it took up no space in our bags. The daily journalling was nice, keeping the memories from that cold, wet, and fun trip alive, but it was the the lesson after that may have been the best lesson in high school.
_________________________________________________________________________________
We were in the library going over the trip, talking about memories and whatnot when our teacher, Mr. Froemel, instructed us put our name on the board, sit at our own table and fill out every name in our book on one page. He did the same with his notebook. We then went from table to table, filling out what we learned about each classmate, what qualities we admired and why we enjoyed being in class with them. 26 pages in those notebooks became dedicated to what made you great, fantastic, and wonderful.
The words on those pages can never change and never be misconstructed because they were not said face to face, they were not said in a way that body language could be read and someone could be embarrassed having to speak in front of the class. It was personal and sincere; the connection that was formed by that group in our last semester of high school was there, the memories were sustaining.
I will never see many of those kids again. I have moved on into university where I study history (major), Engligh (minor), and education (special program). I quietly go about my business their, working within my comfortable solitude. There is comfort there, but there is the lack of connection too. Lack of people building you up, allowing you to learn how to take a compliment.
Maybe the greatest lesson I learned in grade 12 was that we can all say nice things to each other, but the struggle is being away from our comfort zones to compliment people. The longer lasting, greater impact can come from having people write down what makes you great, so when are feeling down or overly stressed by that one assignment you can read about what is great about you.
_________________________________________________________________________________
By some small miracle I made it through school in one piece. I was bullied badly in elementary school; emotionally scarred in high school, but yet I made it through in one piece thanks in large part to my family. I struggled through the burden of making friends, desperately trying to balance my love of being an individual with the expectations of being "normal". I still haven't mastered that one yet, but I stopped caring. I learned that people truly did enjoy being around me because of who I was.
It took until the end of grade 12. It took a 7 foot tall teacher who loved everything, including the freezing cold. It took a group of kids who went to school together since kindergarten. It took three days in the woods. It took a lot, but I learned that when you take away the fear of being laughed at or judged, people can be genuinely nice to you if they know you, it just takes a lot more bravery to say it to someone face to face than it does to write it on paper…and that can't be read when you need to read it the most.
Thursday, 24 April 2014
Perception, Confirmation Bias, and the Montreal Canadiens
How something is perceived can come from confirmation bias. When Ron MacLean said that Tampa Bay would not like having a local referee calling game four in Montreal because of a young referee, Francois Charron, from Gatineau (by the Quebec/Ontario border) made the difficult, but correct call on a goaltender interference call that cost Tampa Bay a goal in game three. Charron made the correct call. Many thought that he made the incorrect call because they are not familiar with the proper application of goaltender interference, but that is another problem. The bigger issue is confirmation bias and how it colours everything we see and hear.
If you go into something thinking that *blank* is against you, it will be obvious to you that *blank* is against you. This is simply not true. The world is not out to get you. To imply that referees are not making calls because of where a game is being played is wrong. There are deeper issues when a team is not getting calls; either the officiating is terrible for both teams or a team does not have the puck.
CBC made note in their broadcast that the Habs had something like 8 more minutes on the power play throughout the series. You know why that was? Because they had the puck about 55% of the time, making it easier for the Habs to be fouled. There is no bias in that; the better team usually gets more power play time as they have the puck more, plain and simple.
Do referees make mistakes? Yes. Is it based on being from the area and should the NHL guard against that? No. Instead the NHL should make sure that their referees know the rulebook like the back of their hand and discipline and retrain them when they do not call it correctly.
Did Charron or Francois St-Laurent make any calls that were not in the rulebook to screw over the Lightning? No. Did the Lightning lose a game because a French referee made the difficult, but correct call in Montreal? Maybe. Did having two French referees calling games at the Bell Centre on two separate nights adversely affect the series? No. Did many people not think that the Montreal Canadiens were capable of playing like they did and therefore look for other factors in their success? Possibly.
As professionals referees are expected to call the game by the rulebook and not be affected by their childhood allegiances. Just because a referee grew up in a certain area does not mean that they were fans of their local team because that is not how one becomes a fan. Professionals will kick their childhood heroes out of games if they do something illegal. Just because someone is from a certain area or speaks a certain language does not mean that they are a fan of that team or that they will not make difficult calls, it means that they are from that area or cheered for that team growing up.
To imply that referees should not call games because of that is allowing yourself to look for biases in their calls before they even make the call. If that was what Ron MacLean was implying when he said that the NHL should have not assigned a ref from the region for games 3 and 4 than he is wrong. If Tampa felt as though they were not getting calls because one of the referees was from the area, than they are coming into the game with a perception of the referee and if a bad call had happened in game four, than that perception would have fulfilled and the perceived bias would have been confirmed.
The Montreal Canadiens as a team played well enough to earn the sweep. The Tampa Bay Lightning did not play well enough to win. The referees did not change that. The referees did not affect the outcome of the series. For once the NHL can say that the players on the ice did and that in itself is a good thing. Instead of looking for anything that can be perceived as a bias and finding then finding anything to confirm this bias is cherry-picking.
The NHL does not pull for Toronto because their video is based out of there. The New York Rangers are not treated differently because head offices are in New York. The NHL tries to run a fair outfit, and they manage to do that most of the time.
TL;DR there is this thing called confirmation bias and when you perceive that there is a bias you will find it, even if there is nothing to see.
If you go into something thinking that *blank* is against you, it will be obvious to you that *blank* is against you. This is simply not true. The world is not out to get you. To imply that referees are not making calls because of where a game is being played is wrong. There are deeper issues when a team is not getting calls; either the officiating is terrible for both teams or a team does not have the puck.
CBC made note in their broadcast that the Habs had something like 8 more minutes on the power play throughout the series. You know why that was? Because they had the puck about 55% of the time, making it easier for the Habs to be fouled. There is no bias in that; the better team usually gets more power play time as they have the puck more, plain and simple.
Do referees make mistakes? Yes. Is it based on being from the area and should the NHL guard against that? No. Instead the NHL should make sure that their referees know the rulebook like the back of their hand and discipline and retrain them when they do not call it correctly.
Did Charron or Francois St-Laurent make any calls that were not in the rulebook to screw over the Lightning? No. Did the Lightning lose a game because a French referee made the difficult, but correct call in Montreal? Maybe. Did having two French referees calling games at the Bell Centre on two separate nights adversely affect the series? No. Did many people not think that the Montreal Canadiens were capable of playing like they did and therefore look for other factors in their success? Possibly.
As professionals referees are expected to call the game by the rulebook and not be affected by their childhood allegiances. Just because a referee grew up in a certain area does not mean that they were fans of their local team because that is not how one becomes a fan. Professionals will kick their childhood heroes out of games if they do something illegal. Just because someone is from a certain area or speaks a certain language does not mean that they are a fan of that team or that they will not make difficult calls, it means that they are from that area or cheered for that team growing up.
To imply that referees should not call games because of that is allowing yourself to look for biases in their calls before they even make the call. If that was what Ron MacLean was implying when he said that the NHL should have not assigned a ref from the region for games 3 and 4 than he is wrong. If Tampa felt as though they were not getting calls because one of the referees was from the area, than they are coming into the game with a perception of the referee and if a bad call had happened in game four, than that perception would have fulfilled and the perceived bias would have been confirmed.
The Montreal Canadiens as a team played well enough to earn the sweep. The Tampa Bay Lightning did not play well enough to win. The referees did not change that. The referees did not affect the outcome of the series. For once the NHL can say that the players on the ice did and that in itself is a good thing. Instead of looking for anything that can be perceived as a bias and finding then finding anything to confirm this bias is cherry-picking.
The NHL does not pull for Toronto because their video is based out of there. The New York Rangers are not treated differently because head offices are in New York. The NHL tries to run a fair outfit, and they manage to do that most of the time.
TL;DR there is this thing called confirmation bias and when you perceive that there is a bias you will find it, even if there is nothing to see.
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